I have had the pleasure of staying at home with all of my children for the past six years. I quit a job that I loved to care for little people whom I love even more. I am not saying that there are days...nor am I belittling those who have chosen to stay at work (there are times I want to be you), however, I have had a little bit of an easy road as a SAHM.
You see, Joe has been around. He worked from his office at home when we first had Anna and lived in town. He would travel a few days here and there, but that was do-able. Then, we moved to the farm, he quit that job, and became a farmer. His office is still on the first floor of our house (makes it sound like we live in a Taj Mahal, but really, just an old 2-story), and his "workplace" surrounds us. He's in and out through the day, allowing me to traipse around, grocery shopping alone on days when it's slow around here, as well as helping me get kids from here to there. I am lucky; I realize this. However, I am not saying that raising four kids under the age of six is cushy, it's just that we're a team.
However, harvest makes me realize how much I need my other teammate. I can't do this alone, all the time. I am not a good mom, and especially not a great wife during this busy season. My husband, after working all day, is greeted every evening by my exhausted heap of a self on the couch. I know, romantic, huh? I'm surviving, not thriving during this time, and to those of you who do this on a regular basis...KUDOS. This stinks.
The first few nights, even a week, are fun. The kids and I eat pancakes with chocolate chips, like Daddy hates, snuggle for stories on my bed, and I get to watch my fill of primetime HGTV. However, once reality sets in and I am the one who is giving all the baths, doing all the homework, and refereeing all the fights do I wish I would have gotten my truck driver's license. I wish I could escape to watch the combine do its thing, bringing in the crop that will pay for the online shopping I do because I can't take all four kids to the Old Navy Baby Sale (heaven forbid I miss it!!).
Anyway, I sound whiny, and I don't intend to, but harvest is wearing on me, and we are still in the same field we've been in since Friday. Yes, Friday. It's not that big, it's that down.
We are blessed with a bountiful yield average, even though the corn is going to be tricky to get out, so I need to keep that in mind as I grumble giving the fourth bath of the night. I need to remember how lucky I am, in February, when I don't have to wake everyone up, bundle everyone up, and go meet the bus. I'm not alone, I'm just lonely at the moment.
However, everything is temporary. This feeling of loneliness is as temporary as the pumpkin display I have on my front porch and the Illini's 5 and 0 record. Just as the pumpkins will be eaten by my dog and the Illini will soon lose, my loneliness will wane, giving way to wanting Joe to just get out of
the house for an hour so I can watch HGTV without commentary.
This is all temporary. I can do this.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, October 3, 2011
Monday, July 19, 2010
The Circle of Life
My daughter is five, just a few weeks shy of entering kindergarten. Although I do not consider her "worldly" (i.e., she still believes in Santa, still thinks maybe she'll marry her daddy, etc.), she has experienced a lot about the cyclical way life is, thanks to her upbringing on this farm.
So, for everyone who is dreading having discussions with his or her children regarding the birds and the bees or life and death, bring 'em out to the farm! A few days with cattle, an experience (or two) with the results fast traffic has on a gravel road, and my matter of fact husband will make those questions go away!!
In all seriousness, however, life on a livestock farm does lend itself to understanding the basic concepts of this short life we lead. Now, does it put it in a way that I necessarily would have chosen? Probably not. My town girl attitude about discussing sex with my daughter did not include a graphic explanation of a bull atop a heifer at Pappy's farm. As my wide eyed five year old was explaining what the bull was DOING to the heifer, at the dinner table, no less (!!), my mind was racing on how to make this more like an after school special and less like Animal Planet. I was searching for a second in the conversation where I could add in that that particular heifer had waited for the right bull to come along, committed to him for life (in a ceremony in the pasture), and they were living happily ever after. Nowhere was this moment!! Instead, Joe interjected with a discussion on how our cows are bred the same way so that we can have good calves in the early spring. Discussion over. Now, we didn't relate it to men and women, but Anna now has a set of information that I never had. She's going to understand reproduction as, well, a means of reproduction, not a Lady Gaga music video. Whew for that, I guess.
As for life and death, my girls also have very concrete understanding of this cycle. We watch calves being born out our family room window, on a nightly basis in the spring. Joe usually is giving the play-by-play. . . "Oh! There's the feet!" or "Well, she's ready, her water bag is out." As I am trying to find the remote to turn up the volume on the TV, completely grossed out by this, the girls are eating it up! Anna has been in the calving barn when a calf was just born, learning to walk. How amazing! She's not grossed out by this miracle. They understand that birth is amazing, and happens every day to nearly every being.
In a similar, matter of fact way, the farm, particularly a livestock farm, is a place to get a very matter of fact understanding of the inevitable. The girls have had to bury two dogs and even a cat, thanks to the bizarrely fast traffic on our gravel road and coyotes. But their skill set is not just limited to pets. They, at 5 and 3, understand that our cattle are being raised to help feed people, and that in order to do that, they must die. It's very blunt, but why beat around the bush and make up a goofy story about the beef fairy or something. Now, I'm not saying you need to take your kids to the locker plant and watch a butchering. . .I don't even do that, but as humans we need protein (sorry vegetarians. .. tune out for a minute, or tune in and be informed!), and a great source of this is beef. We take great care of our animals, and Joe even breeds his stock to be perfect, but perfect for good, quality meat. A grade "A" product, if you will. The girls understand that Daddy's livelihood is to grow good crops, raise good cows, and then harvest them both. End of story.
I am sure we'll still have long conversations about really tough topics, and I know I will have my after school special moments with my girls. But for now, as it should be, they are learning from their environment, taking in every excited bull they can see!
So, for everyone who is dreading having discussions with his or her children regarding the birds and the bees or life and death, bring 'em out to the farm! A few days with cattle, an experience (or two) with the results fast traffic has on a gravel road, and my matter of fact husband will make those questions go away!!
In all seriousness, however, life on a livestock farm does lend itself to understanding the basic concepts of this short life we lead. Now, does it put it in a way that I necessarily would have chosen? Probably not. My town girl attitude about discussing sex with my daughter did not include a graphic explanation of a bull atop a heifer at Pappy's farm. As my wide eyed five year old was explaining what the bull was DOING to the heifer, at the dinner table, no less (!!), my mind was racing on how to make this more like an after school special and less like Animal Planet. I was searching for a second in the conversation where I could add in that that particular heifer had waited for the right bull to come along, committed to him for life (in a ceremony in the pasture), and they were living happily ever after. Nowhere was this moment!! Instead, Joe interjected with a discussion on how our cows are bred the same way so that we can have good calves in the early spring. Discussion over. Now, we didn't relate it to men and women, but Anna now has a set of information that I never had. She's going to understand reproduction as, well, a means of reproduction, not a Lady Gaga music video. Whew for that, I guess.
As for life and death, my girls also have very concrete understanding of this cycle. We watch calves being born out our family room window, on a nightly basis in the spring. Joe usually is giving the play-by-play. . . "Oh! There's the feet!" or "Well, she's ready, her water bag is out." As I am trying to find the remote to turn up the volume on the TV, completely grossed out by this, the girls are eating it up! Anna has been in the calving barn when a calf was just born, learning to walk. How amazing! She's not grossed out by this miracle. They understand that birth is amazing, and happens every day to nearly every being.
In a similar, matter of fact way, the farm, particularly a livestock farm, is a place to get a very matter of fact understanding of the inevitable. The girls have had to bury two dogs and even a cat, thanks to the bizarrely fast traffic on our gravel road and coyotes. But their skill set is not just limited to pets. They, at 5 and 3, understand that our cattle are being raised to help feed people, and that in order to do that, they must die. It's very blunt, but why beat around the bush and make up a goofy story about the beef fairy or something. Now, I'm not saying you need to take your kids to the locker plant and watch a butchering. . .I don't even do that, but as humans we need protein (sorry vegetarians. .. tune out for a minute, or tune in and be informed!), and a great source of this is beef. We take great care of our animals, and Joe even breeds his stock to be perfect, but perfect for good, quality meat. A grade "A" product, if you will. The girls understand that Daddy's livelihood is to grow good crops, raise good cows, and then harvest them both. End of story.
I am sure we'll still have long conversations about really tough topics, and I know I will have my after school special moments with my girls. But for now, as it should be, they are learning from their environment, taking in every excited bull they can see!
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