Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Everyone's Big Deal Is a Big Deal

This past week, I have been a mess. Literally and figuratively. I have been contemplating going back to work and the implications that might have on my life, both good and bad (cleaning lady and regular, adult conversation being the good, getting up and leaving my two littlest ones each and every day, the bad). I have listed pros and cons of everything and left laundry and dusting go to the wayside (thus the literal mess).

It's been a big deal, a big topic of conversation, a can of worms opened and now put back on the shelf for a bit. It made me, however, realize how everyone's big deals are a big deal to them, at that moment. Looking back on my reaction, just a few short days ago at this big deal makes me realize how lucky I am. Now that I have made somewhat of a decision, my big deal is currently getting the clean sheets back on the beds and the little ones on top of them for naps.

And, let me tell you, when you are in the midst of Mockingjay, with just days until the first Hunger Games movie comes out, naptime is a big deal.

My reaction to both of these big deals was the same: panic, hyper-evaluation, and then peace.

I reacted to a bed sheet the way I was reacting to the possibility of employment...isn't that weird?

Answer, yes, but we as humans, or so I think, react this way to everything around us. All things are big deals, to us, of course.

This early spring weather is a big deal currently. It is warm (so warm that we've broken a few records...ones that have stood since the years of the Dust Bowl. We're hoping it's not an omen.). It is windy. It hasn't rained a bunch, but enough to make the grass greener. Flowers are blooming; kids are playing outside, and I have busted out some shorts...and white legs.

These early warm temps, consistently warm temps are making some farmers ansty. We've heard that someone saw somebody working ground somewhere south of here. Sounds like reliable information, doesn't it? So should we be playing around in the dirt?

While we as cattle farmers who calve in the spring are looking like geniuses currently, does this early spring mean it will snow in April?

The weather is a big deal around here, as it usually is.

However, there's so much more in the world that is going on that I should reconsider my big deals to become small deals. While I'm obsessing over keeping the dust from my road from coming into my house, which is futile, I should remember that in some places, there are no roads. I should remember that when I'm considering returning to the workforce, I should be happy that I have an occupation that is hiring, and some folks just can't find a job. While the farmers around here are jittery about the weather, we should be happy about the warm temperatures, as it is doing wonders for a lot of their moods, the health and well being of our calves, and should allow a little more time to get the planter ready during this nice weather...and not in the sleet.

Our big deals are a big deal, don't get me wrong, but I feel like my big deals often times look pretty small when I step away from them.

Maybe I should get a job in philosophy...or maybe just writing those stupid inspirational quotes I see everywhere!


  1. When your life is full of loves and joys, all paths are bearable, not always easy.

    Just helping out with those little philosophical sayings.

  2. I love the above saying.

    This blog has made me feel at more peace with myself and what is going on with my life. Reading about someone else with the same "relative" struggles is certainly comforting.

    I too struggle to balance the constant tug of war in my mind between work, caring for a little one and being a (let's say part time) farmers wife. We are not "yet" living there...but in due time it is inevitable.

    I keep thinking you will never get back the time with your children being "young" but a work balance for a piece of mind is very helpful. No answer is right or wrong; but what makes you feel good. Whatever makes you be a better Mom is probably right. Whether it be homemaking, working or a combination.

    I personally have the a combination of "work and home-life" but am contemplating another child. This scares me to no end. To I give up the work-life balance I currently have? This is my current "big deal."