Thursday, November 20, 2014

One Year, Two Babies, and a LOT of Change

One year ago, we were in a place that we knew was inevitable, but still were not prepared for.
One year ago, we were experiencing emotions, navigating the pain through our children's reaction, trying to be strong for them and for each other.
One year ago, we were driving to be with Joe's family, sifting through pictures, choosing things that weren't fun to choose, and accepting food. Lots and lots of food.
One year ago, we lost Karma, Joe's mom. It almost seems like it happened a week ago, for me, as I can remember weird details. What I was wearing, the look on my sister-in-law's face when she found certain pictures that made her laugh, and cry, the smell of the house with food and family and Karma's cleaning products mixed together. It's strange.
However, it also seems like ten years ago. Babies born, job changes, house remodels, and some insignificant changes make this day seem like an eternity away.
Nevertheless, today is similar to the feeling I had one year ago. Joe's family is amazing. They are strong. They are close, and they are loving. So today, like one year ago on November 20th, I don't know how to be supportive. When a family is strong and tough and loving and close, when you're a puddle and (this year) horribly hormonal, how do you show your support without seeming like a mess, still? She wasn't my mother, but she was like my mother. Joe and I are so busy right now, I hardly know what to talk to him about that doesn't involve carting kids around, appointments, plumbers, drop or non-drop ceilings...etc.
So here I am, writing, because although I generally have no problem talking to anyone about anything, this is hard.
Maybe it's because so much good has happened, and she hasn't seen it. Maybe because she's still here, in little things and big (like Caroline's bald head...her mother said so! ). Maybe because I still don't know what to say when Josie shares that she misses her Grammy and asked last night at choir practice for the Christmas concert for the choir to pray for us today.
Oh the heart strings. Pulled taut already, proud and sad.
Anyway, before I become more of a puddle, here's some cuteness and progress to share in honor of my sweet mother in law. She loved babies, and loved HGTV, and I feel like we're a great representation of both right now!
photo credit: Amy Davis Photography
We had a photo shoot with my sweet running partner (I've been given the go ahead to go on a run, and I CAN'T WAIT...but it's now 2 degrees to I will wait!) and friend, Amy Davis. We had so much fun trying to keep the girls asleep, then awake, bows on, then was a hoot, and aren't they adorable?
Oh friends...sweet, sweet friends. Do you know what these stairs mean? They mean that PROGRESS IS A-COMIN'!! We are now in the phase of our basement remodel that means we will have water and heat because the plumbers and HVAC dudes won't fall to their death from the utility entrance when starting to re-install our water and heat! Can I get a WHOOOOOHOOOOOOO????????

Small changes and big, this year has been one for the books, for sure. While we rejoice babies and steps, we also remember Joe's mom, and honor her today.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know you, but if I did I'd give you a hug! I'm so sorry for your family's loss.