Monday, October 9, 2017

It Ain't Easy Being 3, When You're #5 and #6

Our twins are three today.


I have been telling people it feels like either 30 minutes or 30 years that they have been with us. You can read my reflection on the way they rewrote my life's story here. It's a good one.

Holding Caroline for the first time. I don't remember it...lots of meds.

Anna holding Mary for the first time. 
Don't let them fool you, this was NOT a common occurrence in the first few weeks.

And here's where they are now:
The two moods of Mary: Wayyyy up or wayyyy down.

Our thoughtful curly girl, Caroline.

It is so stereotypcal "mom" to reflect on a birth of a child with wistful bliss. Those first baby moments and fuzzy first memories popping up throughout the day. I love those memories for all of my kids. However, with these twins, a lot of those early memories are more fuzzy than sweet.

This is real life, people. I have six kids.

I never want to be considered a martyr or pitied for our sheer volume of children, but to all of those who have given your sweet three year olds the perfect Peppa Pig birthday party, 
While we did not have a themed birthday party, we did celebrate our three year olds three times. Does that count?
We spent time with Joe's family, celebrating as cousins came in and out from various sporting events, then again with my parents last night after the 4H wiener roast, and once today, in between Daddy heading to work and Anna's 10 o'clock basketball game. When my girls get a party that is not bookended by another kid's event, they will be THRILLED...

and possibly 18.

It ain't easy being 3, when you're #5 and #6. 

We consider these experiences for our twins gifts. Life lessons, if you will...or we at least go to bed at night with a little less guilt when framed this way.

So, in honor of my sweet twins' birthday, here's my wishlist for them as they embark this tricky toddler year:

1) Mary and Caroline, you will be flexible. Between ballgames and dance lessons and piano lessons and church duties and calves and work trips and babysitters, you girls need to figure this out early. Naps are always key, but sometimes come in the car. You may or may not be included in a big kid event, but there's always a fun "Grandma Day" or babysitter to soften the blow of being left out. You girls are age appropriately patient, and can do about 3/4ths of any event: concert, game, lesson, but are very capable of continuing to go with the flow. Praise for that.

2) Twins, you will not be self-centered. You can't be. While 3 is an age that tends to deal in tantrums and demands, my sincere hope is that through your shared existence as twins, combined with being at the tail end of a tribe, you will understand early these things: 
Life is not fair.
Not everything is always about you.
BUT: you are loved and cherished nonetheless. 
This is a lesson we are standing firm upon as their parents.

3) You girls will be happy in who you are. God had a plan for us to be blessed by you two girls. We have had a lot of change, good and bad, since your arrival. Thankfully, this change has solidified our marriage and our values, but it hasn't just stopped there. It gave your dad the strength to choose us over a career, which is ultimately made everything all the better. It gave me the confidence to step out in my career. Let's be honest: if I can manage all you little people, juggling a room of adults and projects IS NOTHING! The trickle down effect of this change has made your pretty awesome big sisters and brother even more amazing. They have thrived having more responsibility, more tests to be patient, more chances to be kind and understanding. Finally, for you sweet baby girls, being a part of this family is something that will shape who you are always. You are two important pieces to our puzzle. Your personality quirks (did you know Mary is extremely OCD about just about everything? And Caroline? She's a ninja.) and charm make us grateful for you every day.

I am so happy to be celebrating my twins today. I am so happy to watch them change into little girls right before my eyes. I am so happy to search back in my memory of those first few days, babies hooked up to wires, and see how far our girls have come. Modern medicine within the NICU is something to marvel, my friends. Our girls are strong, smart and pretty darn cute, thanks to good genetics and a whole bunch of luck.

Happiest of birthdays, my sweet Mary and Caroline. We adore you and celebrate you, always.


  1. Emily, what an amazing reflection on your family. While I am sure there are hard days it is wonderful to see your positive and faith filled outlook on your lives. Many prayers as you continue the journey. These are six fortunate kids to have Joe and you for parents. Happy Birthday to Mary and Caroline!

  2. Not not sure why it put me as Aunt Sharon but it’s Sharon Esche😊

  3. Love it. Happy Birthday to the twins! And by the way, how are they already 3!!!

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