The Highest Highs, the Lowest Lows, and Who Stands With You

So this week hasn't exactly been one that I have felt like I have been rocking at life.

Let's just say that when life hands you a present in the form of a child with some sort of issue that may cause you to want to burn your house down, contents and all, and that day happens to be your birthday, one of the most beautiful spring days in the history of days, and a Friday, you may just want to throw in the towel.

Moving on...we are now clear, and the upside is our house has been spring cleaned.

Ahem.

Anyway, if you've been a devoted reader, you may remember that our life is like any other: unpredictable. But for a person who finds deep delight in planning, this element of human existence causes great angst. Specifically in the past seven days, I have been able to truly be alone in my thoughts, vacuum humming in the background, and I have taken stock of the people around me.

My tribe.

Do you ever do that? Take a moment to savor the life breath that is friends? Make a mental note of those who can understand your idiosyncrasies, who will drop things and show up, who will counsel you, challenge you, support you, listen to you, cry with you, and make you laugh. Hard.

Side note: you men who are reading this may think this is not for you, but DON'T STOP. This will help you and the woman in your life.

I'm talking tribes, friends. I'm talking about people who will celebrate with you in the highest of highs and hug you tight during the lowest of lows.

This week has not been a stellar one for the Webels. Nothing earth shattering, just issue compounding upon issue. The usual juggling of life, coupled with Joe easing into his new role while still keeping the Ag teacher duties going strong, and things like the child sent home with her "issue" (not to be said above a whisper), and then things like a flat tire.

Stuff that makes for funny stories.

One day, but not today.

This stuff, for a type A, crazy mother of six who has to have a plan that is fool proof to keep the wheels (or tires) on her bus rolling, causes strife. And, because I am who I am, causes me to feel alone.

Loneliness is something I have struggled with my whole life. As a kid, I never felt like I had a bestie. Prayed for a homecoming date. Hoped to HECK I was accepted into a sorority. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and, unfortunately, still have those moments. Where we live, the sheer amount of children we have, the fact that I am at home alone all day with aforementioned children all feeds my innate sense of loneliness.

This is not true, though. This has NEVER been true.

I am NOT alone.

This week was a stellar example of this. In the moments that I started to feel truly sorry for myself my inner core of friends was working on me, softening my heart to the hardness that loneliness tends to create.

These friends get me.

Do you have friends like this?

They are the friends who make the phone call that was perfectly timed. They are friends who offer to come and help during the yuckiest of yuck during the busiest of times. They support you in your career endeavors, even when there's really no "career" yet. They're the friends who take you to dinner and present you with the ONE THING that you have coveted, and it's silly and frivolous, but they GET YOU and all your silly loves in life.

Namely: Tory Burch.

Ahem, again.

Anyway, I encourage you today dear reader to take stock in your tribe. Invest in them the way they invest in you. Quit feeling lonely and find a friend (I'm talking to myself, mainly.). You may think that you're alone in this game of life that is a crap shoot of mess and vacuuming, but there are people there who love you, pray for you, and support you for who YOU are.

So today as I sit and write this, I am inspired by my tribe. I cannot express how much loneliness has been abated thanks to friends this week. While my life situation is not grim in the slightest, friends who empathize, sympathize and pass you a beer when you need it the most are ones that make you able to endure whatever is sent your way.

Today, seek out your tribe and thank them. Stand firm in the belief that they love you no matter what, and that they'll stand with you. And if they're my people, they'll always make sure I'm standing in cute shoes! Ha!

Exhibit A of how my tribe gets me.

Preview to Mother's Day Podcast!!

Hi friends!

Happy spring! It's finally consecutively warm and spring like. My kids were dirty and tired today from fresh air and no grass (still a construction zone around here!). Anyway, with days like today, my mind starts to wander to all things spring!

What says spring more than Mother's Day???

If your Farmer Joe, you're probably rolling your eyes because today is actually my birthday. He is easily stressed by the giving of gifts, which is unfortunate, as my love language happens to be within the gift category.

His does NOT.

So each birthday, holiday, whatever is met with the phrase, "I want you to keep your expectations at a low level."

Nice, huh?

Gifts stress Joe out.

Do you have a dude like that? Are YOU like that? How about birthdays for the other women in your life?

Well, you're in luck! Holly (read her preview blog here) and I are compiling the go-to gift guide for all the gals in your life! Even better, we're going to be podcasting about it next week! GET EXCITED!

Now, while we have been busily gathering some of our favorite things, we are always up for new and creative things. Are you a person who has a small business with goods or services that cater to women? Are you someone who would like to be featured on our blogs?

If you are, go ahead and email me at farmwife.emily@gmail.com, and we can consider you for a spot on our coveted list.

Well, maybe the list isn't coveted, but still.

We are so excited about this, and hope that it will be helpful to you in your shopping season!

Happy Friday, friends!

Having Your Chickens and Eating Them, Too

So our town has a "What's Going On" Facebook page.

Do any other small towns, or big ones for that matter, have this?

Generally speaking, it's a platform for people to share community events, thus the name. However, on many occasions- many, many occasions- it's a space where people feel free to take their issues with the town, the school, dogs, cats, police, politics, etc., to the MASSES.

And friends, it is GOLD.

Facebook at it's finest, friends.

Last night, there was a thread about some rogue chickens who were running amuck in the residential areas of Farmington. A woman was genuinely concerned about these chickens, who are "street legal" to have in Farmington, but they were free range and eating her garden seeds.

Honestly.

Free range.

In town.

biiiiiiiiiggggggg siiiiiigggggghhhh

Friends.

I get it. Fresh eggs are amazing. A fryer chicken tastes better. But SERIOUSLY. Free range in town. Now, I don't know the terms of having town chickens, but I can imagine that there are some regulations on how "free range" you can have them.

Again, no disrespect to those who want chickens in town. But let's be realistic here people. You can't have your chickens and eat them too, or something like that.

Can we all just take a moment to assess how we live, and how it may affect those around us? I was a person who lived in town. If people's dogs, cats, trash, whatever were roaming or blowing around in our yard, it's a nuisance. If I were in town and playing outside with my little kids, and a chicken came to hang out, I would be alarmed. Not because of a danger, just because I LIVE IN TOWN.

Also, are we still in Fulton County, or is this a third world country? When Joe was in his traveling days, he saw cattle roaming in the streets of India...among other things. If we let the chickens be free and wild, what's next? Outside hogs in the park areas? Goats instead of trash pick up?

I'm really kidding, but I feel like we're getting a little bit greedy. Our society wants to be all Green Acres with the convenience of living in town, but this is just insane.

So, those of you with town chickens, can I please ask you to consider getting a coop for your fine feathered friends, because it's starting to affect my productivity. I have spent way too long reading 65+ comments on Facebook!

Food Deserts, First World Problems, and New Friends

Hi everyone!

Does anyone in the northern part of the world feel like it's never going to warm up? It's currently 50 degrees, and I'm considering opening the windows! In my driveway, the planter is unfurled and being calibrated. That's a sign that spring is coming, right?

With this dawn of a new season comes a fresh podcast for you to listen to as you're thinking about cleaning out the garage, picking up sticks or going for that run outside (can you tell what I'm thinking of doing???). In March, Holly Spangler and I recorded with our new friend, Natasha Nicholes (who blogs here. It's a beautiful blog, and she's an interesting, layered individual. Worth your time.). Natasha and Holly met each other as they were both on an Illinois Farm Families Farm Tour; Holly on the farmer side, and Natasha as the Chicago mom.

Being a person who ALWAYS wanted to live in the city, having Natasha on our panel that day was fascinating. It was a short discussion, but in the podcast, I learned that Chicago is a place of food deserts. The land I thought was full of choices, actually has a lot of pockets where people cannot find groceries other than from a convenience store.

So fascinating.

And sad.

We also discussed a few funny first world problems, and wound up leaving the conference as new friends.

And the crowd goes: Awwwwwwww.

Seriously, people, it's been a YEAR. One year since we last podcasted. I'm hoping to remedy that with some tweaking once Jack starts school next fall. Until then, enjoy this podcast of Confessions of a Farm Wife, On Location.

It may be another year, so listen carefully!

https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/258529836&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false"

The Road Less Traveled

*Disclaimer: Please, Salem Township, if you're reading this, do NOT take this post as a reason to NOT consider us for tar and chip, dust deterrent, or even a little more gravel now and again. This is merely a reflection on finding the good in the EVIL that is the gravel road.

And now back to the post:

Our house sits about three quarters of a mile from the "hard road." That means, gravel for almost a mile. We know all too well the affects of gravel on our life. Dust hitting your face as we're playing and a car drives by; deciding which windows to open in the warmer months based on the wind direction; many, many, many flat tires repaired and sets of new tires purchased.

Friends, it is a complete nuisance to live on this road. Joe says if you want to know what roads were like in the 1920s, come down ours.

Ugh.

However, I'm turning a new leaf. I think it may be because after 10 years on this homestead, I have decided to embrace the gross.

Today as I was headed down my last leg of my run, I noticed prints. Not the typical deer tracks or bunny tracks I see on the soft side of the road, they were "man boot" prints.

Hmmm.

If it were the entrance to a pasture or our neighbor's hunting house, I wouldn't have been concerned. However, these were just past the timber draw that is about a quarter of a mile from the corner.

You might be from a road that is less traveled if you're noticing foot traffic from an unknown shoe.

However, as I searched both sides of the timber to see if a hunter, vagrant or other ax murderer was going to pluck me from existence, it dawned on me.

The good folks at Wright Tree Service trimmed trees this week! Those were the boot tracks from the nice young man who stopped my car to explain what they were doing as I drove to town on Thursday.

You might be on a road that is not heavily traveled if,  on Saturday, one can note visible footprints from Thursday.

I chuckled at my stealth like observation skills and small town-ness as I headed the last bit of my run home. But besides feeling like such a hick from the sticks, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and frankly, safety as I stepped into my house. While our road sometimes serves as a cut-through for the local drunks, headed from one small town bar to another, and a few dogs have lost their lives thanks to travelers on this path, we are generally pretty safe out here. We recognize who's coming down the road, who's slowing, and who's "not from here." We wave to neighbors, passing farmers and those we don't even know. We may be a dusty and lonely house on this road, but we're friendly bunch.

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't days I would give anything for a paved road so the kids could ride bikes, and I could have a clean car for more than the 30 minutes drive from the "good car wash." I just realized that with all the dust and grime and muck and all that, our road gives us a sense of safety.

And an appreciation for winds from the north.

On Writing and Speaking and Other Highlights

Well.

It is now Thursday, and I just realized that tomorrow will be APRIL.

As in, the month in which I celebrate a birthday.
The month we generally start planting.
The month of FFA Banquet.
The month I run a half marathon.
The month of three, yes, three concerts at school.
The month that boasts Fridays off, thanks to no snow days and no Spring Break.

Otherwise known as, the month I may go crazy.

Or crazier.

Either way.

Anyway, March was a month that fueled my soul, professionally and personally. I am so, so lucky to call a group of really amazing professionals, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, whatever--friends. We all met in the Chicagoland area to not just celebrate our friend Holly's 40th birthday, but to gather to support each other and attend a women's conference. These ladies are a part of an online Bible Study I participate in, and you'll never know it, but I was SO FREAKED and GEEKED out when I read their bios. These are women who are leaders in the communications field, both in the agriculture and "general" sectors. So, when one is asked to post on a book one is reading, and one's audience is one that includes people WHO EDIT and WRITE for a living, one stay-at-home mom turned blogger maaaaaaaayyyy do a little bit more editing than usual! Ha!

My tribe at the Kelly Minter Conference

It was Holly's birthday!! And, we had HOURS in the car on the way up to talk! 

Credentials aside, this group has become my tribe, and while they have prayed for me and supported me through the birth of the twins, job changes, house remodels, etc., getting together and actually seeing their faces has solidified our roles as supporters and friends.

Plus, we got a house in Chicago from Air B&B (B'n'B?? I obviously didn't book it!), and MEGADEATH was across the street for a concert, Ethiopian food was consumed, and many, many, many funny stories were told.

My advice to you: get a group of people who are in it for you, even if they live far away, get together with them, and you'll be a better friend and care giver and mom and wife and whatever to your people closest to you.

The End.

Might I also add that I spent time with my sweet, college bestie? Lori has been with me through thick and thin, and when she was in a horrible car accident recently, I made it a point to make her house a stop during this time up north. She is lucky to be alive, and while has sustained lots of broken bones and continual pain, she's a fighter, friends. Would you please keep her in your prayers as she recovers, and if you feel like you're getting road rage, don't pull out in front of oncoming traffic.

Okay, so Lori and I didn't get a picture together, but this is from our walk down memory lane trip back to our college campus!

The End, again.

But not really, because the next week, I was able to take to the road and speak at the Stephenson County Cattlemen's Annual Meeting. I wrote my talk just 12 short hours after being completely fueled by my weekend getaway, so to say that I was on fire for Jesus and agriculture and writing would be an understatement! My talk was well thought out, written in complete solitude (thanks to my Monday morning babysitter!! !), and I delivered it well to a very friendly and engaging audience. Plus, the ride up to Freeport, Illinois was about 3 hours from my own home, so Serial was binge listened to, and my heart was soaring because I knew after I spoke, I would be staying the night in a hotel room all by myself (like a big girl) that night! Yay for Diet Coke in a king sized bed and March Madness basketball games!

Yes, I was stopped, and YES I was excited!

Yay.

Because the next day...I drove to the Women in Agriculture conference in the Quad Cities to be a part of our annual live podcast (is it now annual, since we've done it two years in a row??), after spending time with my good Farm Bureau friends, Holly Spangler (my partner in crime), and others.

Podcasting with Holly and Natasha, a Chicago Illinois Farm Families City Mom

It sounds like I spent a lot of time away from my family, and it also sounds like that makes me a happy person.

Well, the answer to that is yes, and YES. Friends, it's not that I don't adore my family. My husband and kids are my number one priorities, but for nearly 18 months, I haven't been able to step away from my life as Mom Emily into Working Emily.

These past weekends spent with friends old and new, in professional settings and in my jammies are ones that make me a better me. That make me see that while I am in the thick of diapers and shuttling and haircuts and concerts and planting and days off, there will be a time that I will look in the mirror without a friend asking why I'm filling in my eyebrows or plucking out the gray hairs. There will be a time that my shuttle bus will just have me in it and my appointments to get to.

Weekends away let me catch a glimpse of this life so that I can endure the crazy that will be my life for years to come.

So, I am refreshed. I am renewed, and I am ready to tackle April.

Or at least celebrate my birthday.

All About the Ladies

Happy International Women's Day!

Did you even remember this day?

Or are you like me because if it wasn't for Facebook to remind me about this day, you'd just think today was a Tuesday?

Either way, let's celebrate the ladies today, shall we? We are heavy on the female side in our house, so Farmer Joe is probably thinking it IS just a Tuesday, since every day needs to be somewhat of a Women's Day at the Webels!

What makes today interesting to me is that there's also a hashtag and selfie celebration: #ilooklikeafarmer, #FarmHer, and #farmlikeagirl. I have really enjoyed seeing all the pictures of how women are making their presence known in agriculture, pictured with their calves, doing hog chores, hauling hay, working ground.

It's pretty amazing how much a woman truly farms.

However, once again. There's no "me" in these pictures. I'm just over here, fixing lunches, playing with sidewalk chalk and, currently, blogging about my farm life, but I feel like my picture would inevitably just look more like a "Tuesday," and less like a celebration.

While I see myself as someone who is active in the agricultural realm, I am a part of our operation way, way in the background. My pictures would be me flying a kite with Jack with a very, very rural background, but my job is technically one that is not just "farming."

I'm not writing this to get a "you do so much, Emily," pat on the back or a "you're really not a farmer, so celebrate just being a woman," I'm just saying that I need to get over myself and take a dang picture, because my job on this farm, in this operation, is just as important as one that requires a CDL or chemical application license. 

And this is to be celebrated, too.

It's my own insecurities in the agriculture world that are holding me back. So many of my ag friends are ones that wear heels more than boots, but can talk manure spreading, nitrogen, and crop insurance. They are women who spend a majority of their time traveling and talking and teaching, and then come home to Carhartts and chores.

This group of "FarmHers" is pretty amazing. We're so multifaceted and so diverse, there's not one picture that depicts us as a "farmer."

So today, I am celebrating my life as a FarmHer. While I hardly know how to run the lawnmower, I have a role on this farm, and I am going to celebrate myself alongside those who are the true farmers.

Doing my #FarmHer specialty: blogging!

Thanks for celebrating all of us today. 

Side note: I'm also not writing this to get the men all riled up. You're important, too, and you wear many hats, but today, it's about the girls.

I promise to sing your praises on National Men's Day...whenever Facebook tells me to.