We messed up last night. Well, actually, I messed up. Apparently, at the last t-ball game, amidst the chaos that is t-ball itself and t-ball pictures, there was a schedule change. So, when Anna and Joe showed up at the ball diamond, they were there, for the last batter, as our game had changed times.
I was supposed to know that.
It's now Saturday, the day when families are supposed to be fishing, swimming, grocery shopping, and the like, and it's 5:00, and Joe has just stepped into our "little porch," drenched in sweat from square baling hay in this crazy heat.
Thankfully, I'm not the one baling hay...I made a cake, but seriously. I have a love/hate relationship with the weekend. I know that this is supposed to be family time. Time to relax, time to regroup, time to spend together, but it is just another day for us. It's just another time when things have to be done. There's no grocery shopping together. There's no Saturday laziness. It's another day.
It's becoming obnoxious.
Sorry farmers, I'm a little annoyed right now. I'm sure that this is the life that we want. I'm certain that this is the profession Joe loves, but I'm also certain that there are aspects of this life that I cannot stand. While Joe takes care of all things farming, my job is to take care of most things kid (I say most because he does do a lot with the kids), but there are times when I cannot cram any more into my little brain, and I need a 9 to 5 dad with weekends off to step in sometimes and help me figure this life out. I'm blaming this t-ball incident on farming...can you tell?
Another weekend preconceived notion I have is playing around with the kids, doing yard work together, and generally hanging out on Saturdays. However, when Joe works all day outside, even on the hottest of days, even on a Saturday, when we are enjoying the slip-n-slide, why would he want to run around with the girls outside when he could and should be cooling off in the air-conditioning? Why would golf or fishing or hunting appeal to him, when he's out in the elements at all times?
The summer is getting to me. I'm feeling like we are just treading water...literally and figuratively, if you count the pool time we've had. I feel like our cup is running over with blessings, but we barely have time to enjoy said blessings because of hay and cows and wheat and the weather and a newborn and a toddler and our two active big girls and playdates and the like. When do we slow down?
More like, how do we slow down?
The simple answer is, "do less." Thank you, Mr. or Mrs. Obvious, but then we would be bored, right?
Honestly, I wish that Anna didn't miss last night's game because I wish I would have heard or written down or listened more carefully to the schedule change. I wish Joe could be around at 3:00 on a Saturday afternoon instead of after 5:00 because then maybe we could do something as a family, other than what we do nearly every night...however, with a newborn, a 2 year old and two other big girls, what can you do?
My expectations for what my family picture looks like and how and when we do things are high, I know, and farming is cramping my style! My hope is that I'll look back at these days and think, "wow, was I tired, busy and INSANE, but happy."
So let me vent for a bit, and then I will choose to be happy. Take that, farmer's schedule!