Saturday, January 5, 2013

On Having A Big Family...

While we are not the Duggars with our brood of 18 (or is it 19?) children, we Webels do have a lot of kids: active kids, loving kids, healthy kids, sometimes naughty kids, kids who need naps, kids who need to go, kids who need to stay, kids who want to go, but should stay, kids who are helpers, and kids who need to be helped.

Any way you look at my kids, they're great, but there are times as a family with four kids, although close together in age, when I feel like I can't figure out how to cart them around to various events, games, practices, lessons, church functions, grocery shopping, shoe shopping, preschool pick-up...etc.

So, there are times like this morning, when I choose to stay home. I choose to be here, and Joe's there with Anna, at yet another basketball game that I have to miss because Amelia's a train wreck from going to see Josie dance at the high school basketball game last night, and Jack is...well, 18 months old, and doesn't want to be restricted to a stroller and/or one area for more than three seconds.

I want to be that mom who shows up to the Saturday morning game with all her well dressed, bathed, color coordinated kids, on time. I crave to be that mom who can also be showered and color coordinated and calm, cool, and collected as my perfect children watch their sister's second grade basketball game, cheering at appropriate times, and not trying to run out onto the court because he is obsessed with basketballs, or crying because her sister won't share the pink haired Barbie with her at the appropriate time.

However, I'm not that mom, so I sit here, still in my jammies (because who has time to run on a Saturday such as this?), and blog about the fact that I am trying not to be a deadbeat mom who doesn't show up at games, but I feel like it today.

This is in no way any reflection on you parents who drag your kids to all events, entertaining them with Cheerios and Legos. Kudos to you. This is also not a negative post to you parents who chose to have one or two kids (because sometimes...I wonder what your life is like, playing man-to-man defense). I just wish I could do it all. That's why I was a music/athlete/class president type of high school kid. That's why I sing and teach Sunday School at church. That's why I am working and raising four kids...I like to try to max myself out, and when I make the executive decision to say no and stay home, it's disconcerting.

Regardless, I am home today, and although my Anna is understanding and loves to be alone with her dad, I want to see her make that shot. I want to see her face when she's cruising up the court. I want to hear her feet slap against the floor as she hustles, as she still runs like a little kid...the harder you strike the floor, the faster you seem.

I will make it to a game, no doubt, but it will take some creative child juggling. It may take a babysitter, a grandma, and a lot of Goldfish if they all come. I want to remain present, but I want to remain sane.

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